Ha! this has been the longest hiatus I've done from blogging. College has been very crazy. It's the same kind of routine, just more intense. So I guess there's nothing new that I can tell about in that department. Anyway, Ramadhan Mubarak everyone! Hope this holy month will bring us closer and closer to Allah...Aamiin.
I would like to dedicate this second paragraph specially for my senior high school friend, who is also a blog enthusiast, Nastiti. Thank you for still randomly visits my blog (what are you trying to find really?). In fact, my motivation for writing yet another post after such a long time is because of your comment! partly, at least. The biggest reason is because I'm so bored. It's still another 2 months before the next semester starts.
Hmm...what else should I write? I notice that my blog posts' alignment is aligned to the left instead of justified. This is not a scientific paper but still, I thought it would've been better if only I had used the justify setting. But editing around 100 posts just doesn't seem to be worth it, haha.
I envy people who has this nice blog where it lets them post short texts without looking weird. It's a blog that has a layout for microblogging (don't you have twitter for that?) so they can post random daily stuff every day. This makes them a very active blogger whereas my blog layout won't let me do such thing. It would look like I have an unfinished post posted. I guess I could've tweaked the settings and changed the settings, but I love the way my blog looks right now. So be prepared to find either nice writings about my deepest thoughts/feelings OR me babbling about nothing important (just like this one).
One great thing that happened to me is that I've "reconnected" to one of my oldest, dearest friend (basically my first real best friend) after a year of not-talking-to-each-other. Crazy, I know right. There are times during that year that I thought "Well, this is it. Maybe she only meant to be in my life for that long. Guess I should just cherish the memory instead of whining about what we could've been if I had done something different." I don't exactly know what happened, I guess all the sadness and anger forced me to forget the painful details. And so, we both are trying to live our own lives...
Just until a week ago, when she contacted me through Instagram. Long story short, we talked everything out. I was very worried that she was mad for me because of something I had done, and I don't want to get off my high horse and be the first one to say sorry. Turned out, that is exactly what she felt too! We ended up asking for each other apologies, tell each other how much we miss each other, tears streaming down my face and we hugged for what seems to be....ok you get the point.
So kids, what we can get from this experience is that great communication is the key to a great social life, which explains why I am always lacking in that department. We should never give a silence treatment before we are really, really, reallyyyyyyyy running out of words/the other person won't even listen to us for just a second. Especially in my case where silence treatment = giving up. If only I had at least trying to contact her long ago, all of this not-talking-for-a-whole-year nonsense won't ever happened. But then again, everything always happens for a reason, right?
All in all, everything seems fine for right now. We understand each other's rhythm and pace better than ever. Now I know that if she doesn't contact me, that doesn't mean she hates/forgets me. It's just right now there are things that needs to be done. She needs to do so so she can spend her free time with me. I mean, who would want to go to a karaoke night if none of his/her tasks and assignments are finished?! It's called having priorities, people. It's adulthood! I guess you could say we literally have grown up together :)
The most magical thing of all is that even after a whole year of not talking to each other, we are still in sync. We even have a lot more interesting things to talk about! This assures me more and more that she really is my best friend. Cause you know what they said, a strong friendship doesn't need daily conversations, doesn't always need togetherness. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part.
To you, if you ever read this: I'm glad I met you at third grade elementary school. Thank you for depicting my fantasies with your drawings. Thank you for the calls, both late nights and impromptu. Thank you for teaching me how to not be a selfish bitch, despite the use of though love. Thank you for...well, everything.
FUNNY HOW I STARTED THIS POST WITH NOTHING IN MIND YET HERE I AM, WRITING PARAGRAPHS AFTER PARAGRAPHS OF DEAR DIARY.
Writing this post reminds me of how much I love writing, or at least seeing what I wrote haha. The process is sometimes boring, but the feeling of clicking "publish" after writing a long post is satisfying!
I guess I should just end this post now, even though my heads are filled with writing ideas.
need. to. organize. it. right. now.
I have the memory of Dory these days. See you in other posts, darling.
Kelvin here,
Signing off.
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Thursday, June 22, 2017
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Abstract
I'm starting to think that being in love is more of a coincidence, a serendipity, something that is very influenced by luck. There are those who seem to have everything people would've wanted : a nice job, a nice house, nice car(s). Basically financially stable, yet they haven't found 'the one'. This might seem very obvious, love doesn't strike people based on their financial status. Yet most people seem to not understand that. There are many people who said "well, they already have everything, what are they waiting for" when it comes to their opinion about other's marital status as if not being married (or even in love) in that situation is very weird. I also find a lot of people who seem to have a lot of work to do with themselves decides that marriage is something for them and in the end it does help them grow better. Miracle does happen.
Hey, maybe they have personality problems. Or maybe they don't. Maybe they don't want to get married and have kids. Maybe they prefer the single life. Single life doesn't mean miserable life and I cannot stress this enough (really hate the jomblo jokes that seems to be going on FOR AGES). Love is a two way lane. Your line may be very smooth (with the criteria I mentioned above) but if your soulmate's line isn't smooth yet, you both will never meet.
Love, to me, is always this abstract thing people can never fully comprehend until they experience it themselves. I don't think I have experienced love. Or at least, the kind of love I was expecting with all the butterflies in the stomach and stuff. It might not be just luck but because it is very hard for me to grasp, I guess it's easier to conclude that luck is the biggest factor.
All I wanna say is that you, people who are in love, should be very grateful because those whose hands you hold might be your soulmate. At least right now, you think he/she is. Some of us will have a long journey to find one. Some of us have taken a long journey to find one, only to lose it next year. Surround yourself with people you love, cherish them and make them feel your love. Never take anything for granted.
Kelvin here, signing off.
Hey, maybe they have personality problems. Or maybe they don't. Maybe they don't want to get married and have kids. Maybe they prefer the single life. Single life doesn't mean miserable life and I cannot stress this enough (really hate the jomblo jokes that seems to be going on FOR AGES). Love is a two way lane. Your line may be very smooth (with the criteria I mentioned above) but if your soulmate's line isn't smooth yet, you both will never meet.
Love, to me, is always this abstract thing people can never fully comprehend until they experience it themselves. I don't think I have experienced love. Or at least, the kind of love I was expecting with all the butterflies in the stomach and stuff. It might not be just luck but because it is very hard for me to grasp, I guess it's easier to conclude that luck is the biggest factor.
All I wanna say is that you, people who are in love, should be very grateful because those whose hands you hold might be your soulmate. At least right now, you think he/she is. Some of us will have a long journey to find one. Some of us have taken a long journey to find one, only to lose it next year. Surround yourself with people you love, cherish them and make them feel your love. Never take anything for granted.
Kelvin here, signing off.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
Up, Up, Away
"Too much of anything can make you sick," said Cheryl Cole in one of her famous song "Parachute". "Even the good can be a curse" she added.
WELL APPARENTLY TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING DOES MAKE YOU FEEL SICK. I am currently in my holidays or "winter break" as some of you would call it. We don't really have winter here so we can't call it winter break. Should we call it rainy season break? It doesn't sound good though. The point is, it's just another long holiday where I have to spend my time doing nothing. Wait, actually I don't have to do that but since I don't have any other choice, that kinda makes me have to do it. Anyway, the only reason I was up this late (yeah, 10 p.m IS late for me) is I really don't have anything to do, I just take naps all day long. Heck, I even (finally) finished a novel I have bought months ago! that's just how crazy this whole doing-nothing thing is.
It's not that it's bad that I've spent my holidays reading novel, in fact, I was pretty happy that I finally have time to finish the novel and it was a very good one: Magnus Chase and The Hammer of Thor. The thing I liked about this book (aside of the hilarious sarcasm and rhetorical questions by the main characters) is the fact that there is this one moslem character named Samirah Al-Abbas. It was told in the story that even in the middle of fighting giants with the Norse gods (or powerful entity, as Samirah would say it), she still obeys her obligation of praying five times a day, everyday. Now now, you would think that after seeing a lot of unbelievable things such as gods and monsters and giants, one would simply not believe any god that he/she would never be able to actually see. Our senses, after all, have a very big impact on how we perceive the world. This was proven by Magnus (the main character) being an atheist. But Sam is a very different case and I just like how Rick incorporates it beautifully into his story.
Right now I'm currently reading Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder. I must admit I had a very...different expectation of this book. I thought it was about Sophie's adventure in some crazy world where in the end there is this philosophical question or conclusion that would blow your mind. I thought that was what people meant by "philosophical novel". Turns out it was about the history and development of philosophy retold in a very compelling way. It was good, though I've read some of the history before online (being a philosophical nerd wannabe myself) so it was a little bit boring. But I've only read a tiny bit of the book so I might just finish it before jumping into any conclusions (hah!)
ANYWAY can I please mention the fact that I have only written 3 blogposts IN THE PAST YEAR???????
Crazy.
Can't believe it's 2017 already. By December this year I would be 20 too. The next thing you know you'll be sitting in your porch with your grandkids. Still the same questions linger in my mind: what have I done in the past year? Have I been a better person than I am before? Have I achieved all of my goals? Do I even have any goals at all?????
But as always, questions only well asked but never answered. I was never bothered to look for one. I guess some part was because I am too lazy to look for it (yet I bravely admit that I am a philosophical nerd) but also some part of me kinda want that question to never be answered....I don't know why. It just adds more of this mysterious type of feeling to life. Or maybe I was too afraid to look for the answers because I was afraid of what the outcome would be..I mean, what if I'm not a better person than I am last year? Does that mean that I have wasted a full year of doing nothing? But again, does the end result really matter that much? Isn't the journey that changes people?
SEE. MORE QUESTIONS ARISES WHEN YOU ANSWERED.
College life was also a little bit boring. I don't know, maybe I am the one who is boring. It's just that I don't have the same kind of excitement studying about life the way I had it during the senior year of my high school. Everything was so mesmerising back then that I decided hey, maybe this is my call. Maybe finally I've found my purpose of life! To study biology for the rest of my life. But then college happened. I guess it all moved too fast and too brief for me. Or maybe I just haven't had it yet. But Alhamdulillah, praises to Allah, I have been doing pretty good. At least I'm not embarrassing my parents. Hehehe.
So I guess the last thing I wanna talk about is the concept of balance and equity. If you have studied natural sciences for some time, you would've noticed that the general concept of nature is balance and equity. Even homeostasis, this big concept in biology, is based on balance and equity. It was something that humans are born with though: the tendency of being in perfect balance, harmony, peace and virtue. It's what we called fitrah in Islam. But the one thing I would like to discuss (WITH WHO? HAHA.) is say, you're in the middle of a conflict between two people and you understand why each person was doing the thing they had done and therefore you didn't choose sides. Does that mean you're being very equitable and wise? Does not taking sides always a good thing? Because I actually do feel like the ability to comprehend people numbs your judgement. We have this ideals and principles but we also understand that there's no such thing as perfection, that we have to take into measure the circumstances of those people to actually understand why they have done what they had done. I think that is a very large amount of variables to count. I thought by trying to understand each other views, you would be able too judge more clearly. But I guess in the end it all comes down to what values you have of this life. One would not deem murder as something bad if they don't value human life, right?
Sorry for the long post. It's just nice to finally have someone to talk to. I might look like some desperate loser, but that's another topic for yet another post.
Kelvin here, signing off.
WELL APPARENTLY TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING DOES MAKE YOU FEEL SICK. I am currently in my holidays or "winter break" as some of you would call it. We don't really have winter here so we can't call it winter break. Should we call it rainy season break? It doesn't sound good though. The point is, it's just another long holiday where I have to spend my time doing nothing. Wait, actually I don't have to do that but since I don't have any other choice, that kinda makes me have to do it. Anyway, the only reason I was up this late (yeah, 10 p.m IS late for me) is I really don't have anything to do, I just take naps all day long. Heck, I even (finally) finished a novel I have bought months ago! that's just how crazy this whole doing-nothing thing is.
It's not that it's bad that I've spent my holidays reading novel, in fact, I was pretty happy that I finally have time to finish the novel and it was a very good one: Magnus Chase and The Hammer of Thor. The thing I liked about this book (aside of the hilarious sarcasm and rhetorical questions by the main characters) is the fact that there is this one moslem character named Samirah Al-Abbas. It was told in the story that even in the middle of fighting giants with the Norse gods (or powerful entity, as Samirah would say it), she still obeys her obligation of praying five times a day, everyday. Now now, you would think that after seeing a lot of unbelievable things such as gods and monsters and giants, one would simply not believe any god that he/she would never be able to actually see. Our senses, after all, have a very big impact on how we perceive the world. This was proven by Magnus (the main character) being an atheist. But Sam is a very different case and I just like how Rick incorporates it beautifully into his story.
Right now I'm currently reading Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder. I must admit I had a very...different expectation of this book. I thought it was about Sophie's adventure in some crazy world where in the end there is this philosophical question or conclusion that would blow your mind. I thought that was what people meant by "philosophical novel". Turns out it was about the history and development of philosophy retold in a very compelling way. It was good, though I've read some of the history before online (being a philosophical nerd wannabe myself) so it was a little bit boring. But I've only read a tiny bit of the book so I might just finish it before jumping into any conclusions (hah!)
ANYWAY can I please mention the fact that I have only written 3 blogposts IN THE PAST YEAR???????
Crazy.
Can't believe it's 2017 already. By December this year I would be 20 too. The next thing you know you'll be sitting in your porch with your grandkids. Still the same questions linger in my mind: what have I done in the past year? Have I been a better person than I am before? Have I achieved all of my goals? Do I even have any goals at all?????
But as always, questions only well asked but never answered. I was never bothered to look for one. I guess some part was because I am too lazy to look for it (yet I bravely admit that I am a philosophical nerd) but also some part of me kinda want that question to never be answered....I don't know why. It just adds more of this mysterious type of feeling to life. Or maybe I was too afraid to look for the answers because I was afraid of what the outcome would be..I mean, what if I'm not a better person than I am last year? Does that mean that I have wasted a full year of doing nothing? But again, does the end result really matter that much? Isn't the journey that changes people?
SEE. MORE QUESTIONS ARISES WHEN YOU ANSWERED.
College life was also a little bit boring. I don't know, maybe I am the one who is boring. It's just that I don't have the same kind of excitement studying about life the way I had it during the senior year of my high school. Everything was so mesmerising back then that I decided hey, maybe this is my call. Maybe finally I've found my purpose of life! To study biology for the rest of my life. But then college happened. I guess it all moved too fast and too brief for me. Or maybe I just haven't had it yet. But Alhamdulillah, praises to Allah, I have been doing pretty good. At least I'm not embarrassing my parents. Hehehe.
So I guess the last thing I wanna talk about is the concept of balance and equity. If you have studied natural sciences for some time, you would've noticed that the general concept of nature is balance and equity. Even homeostasis, this big concept in biology, is based on balance and equity. It was something that humans are born with though: the tendency of being in perfect balance, harmony, peace and virtue. It's what we called fitrah in Islam. But the one thing I would like to discuss (WITH WHO? HAHA.) is say, you're in the middle of a conflict between two people and you understand why each person was doing the thing they had done and therefore you didn't choose sides. Does that mean you're being very equitable and wise? Does not taking sides always a good thing? Because I actually do feel like the ability to comprehend people numbs your judgement. We have this ideals and principles but we also understand that there's no such thing as perfection, that we have to take into measure the circumstances of those people to actually understand why they have done what they had done. I think that is a very large amount of variables to count. I thought by trying to understand each other views, you would be able too judge more clearly. But I guess in the end it all comes down to what values you have of this life. One would not deem murder as something bad if they don't value human life, right?
Sorry for the long post. It's just nice to finally have someone to talk to. I might look like some desperate loser, but that's another topic for yet another post.
Kelvin here, signing off.
Friday, July 15, 2016
Oh, The Feels.
Lebih baik kita usai di siniSebelum cerita indah tergantikan pahitnya sakit hatiBukannya aku mudah menyerah, tapi bijaksanaMengerti kapan harus berhentiKu kan menunggu, tapi tak selamanya
Thank you for understanding how it feels when no one does.
Sunday, July 3, 2016
I Pray For Patience, I Pray For Wisdom.
I don't know. I used to be able to fathom words into sentences that speaks up my mind. I guess I just have too many feelings felt all at once that I can't categorize them properly to further recognize them (or is it the other way around?). But sometimes I think I also feel nothing at all. Is that even possible? It's so intense and numbing at the same time. My theraphist says I might be surpressing my feelings but I call it selective expressing. I don't think it's really that necessary to get all touchy-feeling every second, right? Does holding their feelings makes one a tougher person? Someone wise once said to me that patience is not about letting the anger (or any feeling at all) build up inside you. It's about not losing control of your emotion. Well, isn't holding up your emotion some sort of control?
I asked a lot of questions. I was hoping for my blog to be informative when I first started it yet I asked a lot of (unanswered) questions here. But hey, all great people do (Charles Darwin is one good example). After all, not all who wander are lost, right?
Defeat does not taste good, darling. The bitterness of it lurks in the shadow, all well prepared for that moment when you let your guard slips down even for just a tiny second. You cannot control defeat, you can only control your guards. And even if you have everything under control that doesn't mean it's not strong enough to break it down.
Defeat is neither good nor bad. It can be a great whip (do not sing that nae nae song) for some, which then will boost up their spirit again, or it can be a painful stab to one's heart to the point that their soul stops glittering. All that's left is a faint glow, maybe a hint of ember. It should be enough though, the little light, if they just know how to keep it glowing. Hope is, after all, the eternal nemesis of defeat.
Let there be light even in the darkest place.
So I'll try to pick myself up. It's not the end of the world. It shouldn't be. I still have a lot to be grateful for. I believe God's plan are better than anyone's. He is the all knowing, He knows how hard one has been working for what they want. He just loves to see His best fighters continue their struggle because He knows they're the strongest of them all. He promises great rewards in the end and He never, ever, breaks His promise.
Kelvin here,
Signing off.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Hicka Ticka
Ohhhh myyy gooooddd
School is just getting crazier than ever. The assignments,those papers,the pressure. But hey, it's 2015 and I don't want to be trapped in the same mindset as 2014. I'm gonna try to enjoy this whole ride because you will only be in high school once in a lifetime,right ?
Oh God forbid don't let me repeat that hell on earth
Anyways,it's true. It's not me exaggerating my (every) part of life. I just can't imagine how the 12th graders are feeling right now....
Oh shit I'm gonna be in the 12th grade next year
I still don't know which uni I wanna go toooooooooooooooo
By the way,do you know this site called Humans of New York ? I've been loving it for a long time now (saying this so that I don't look like I live in a cave being someone who actually just found this website) and I read a lot of inspiring stories. What I love about it is that it was mostly, if not always, only a paragraph long. How can you touch someone's heart with just a paragraph long ? I don't think I would be able to do that even with a novel.
Or maybe it's just me who's too sensitive. I mean, in my stories that's mostly the case right ?
Hey, this just came to my mind. Funny how I always have nothing to write about. Yet here I am typing a lot of words per minute.
I don't even know who I'm talking to.
I followed a lot of fashion houses on instagram and it was Men's Fashion Week a few days (or weeks) ago. I haven't had time to see all the collection but oh my god those photos on instagram makes my closet look like a dumpster (see ? Exaggeration) I did see the new Michael backpack from Louis Vuitton it made me shed a tear (another exaggeration) in a good way, and I always love anything from Hermès
Speaking of Hermès I HAVE FINALLY FOUND MY FAVORITE SCENT OF ALL TIME
It's Jour d'Hermès made by perfumer Jean Cloud Ellena. Have you ever imagined youself skipping Luna Lovegood-style in the middle of a flower garden during spring time ? Well, try to capture that on a scent and BOOM ! Jour d'Hermès. What I also like about it is that I think it suits my personality, or at least what I want my personality to be. A happy go lucky child :)
So I'm posting this from my phone and it's so annoying this blogger app don't have an autoscroll feature. Oh wow it must be a high tech thing to have your app to scroll down right google. And I also can't see how long my post actually look like on desktop version so...
Fingrecrossed it's long enough
And if you thought I was only babbling pointless stories on this post
I did.
With so much love and equal hatred
Klaflìn Lachowski
(How ironic)
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Top Movies To Watch This Holiday !
I know it's a little bit late to post this, since most of you have only less than a week holiday. But I thought it will be fun to spend the last days of holiday cuddling with your loved ones in front of TV watching chick flicks all day long. It's Ramadhan so that means no popcorn, but it's still as fun!
1.Letters To Juliet
I am soooooo in love with Amanda Seyfried ! I mean...who doesn't ? She's practically one of those living barbies. And I love the way the story goes, two love stories in one movie. I cried every time the grandmother (I forgot her name) reads the letter, it's so beautiful :') what if...
2.The Proposal
I was watching some TV when a profile of Ryan Reynolds came up and they mentioned his super good acting in The Proposal. I went to the movie rentals and rent it right away. It was sooooooooo hilarious, I think that was one the loudest laugh I've ever got from a movie. I also love Sandra Bullock and her floating-on-the-sea Louis Vuittons :-)
4.We're The Millers
This holiday is the first time I watched this movie, I thought it would pass my list of good movies, but it didn't ! It has drama yet they wrap it in such a comical way that it is enjoyable ! I cried (laughing) when I watched this movie. Especially that scene when it's Kenny's (is that his name ?) turn to play the guess game :-) Oops, explicit material here. Better watch the movie alone, no parents allowed !
P.S : sorry for the blurry image. I don't know why it is so hard to find a good one !
That's it ! wait what ? that's it ? only 4 ?
sadly yes, I guess I am pretty picky but it is what it is. Or maybe I just haven't rent that many movies yet... I don't know. But if you really want the fifth one, you can try and watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It's pretty good but it didn't make it to the list :p by the way this list contains movies from the drama-comedy genre only. Or as I would like to call it chick-flicks. If you love any other genre, Jinni and IMDB is a great place to look for recommendation !
I also downloaded this cool app called Discvr Movies. It basically do the same thing as Jinni and IMDB, but they have a cool user interface and it's on my cellphone ! So one point for easy access. I'm sure IMDB also have an app but Discvr Movies is worth the try. The only bad thing is that the developers haven't updated it yet for quite a while, so they don't have that great database of movies. But it still have thousands of old ones !
Besides movies, I am also addicted to youtube videos lately. Well, I've been addicted to youtube since a long time ago, but I've recently checked out those famous youtubers' channel and it is quite entertaining. You should check them out too. My favorites are AwesomeAlanna, Pointlessblog, and Marcus Butler.
Great Kelvin where have you been they've been there for ages and you have just found them "quite entertaining" ?
Anyways I hope you enjoy your holiday ! Where did you spend it ?
1.Letters To Juliet
I am soooooo in love with Amanda Seyfried ! I mean...who doesn't ? She's practically one of those living barbies. And I love the way the story goes, two love stories in one movie. I cried every time the grandmother (I forgot her name) reads the letter, it's so beautiful :') what if...
I was watching some TV when a profile of Ryan Reynolds came up and they mentioned his super good acting in The Proposal. I went to the movie rentals and rent it right away. It was sooooooooo hilarious, I think that was one the loudest laugh I've ever got from a movie. I also love Sandra Bullock and her floating-on-the-sea Louis Vuittons :-)
3.Confession of A Shopaholic
Bag...Gucci ! This is my go to movie every time I need a mood booster. Go Isla Fisher ! I've also read the entire book series and it was awesome. Actually no, it was waaayyyy better than the movie ! Too bad they didn't make the sequel :-(
This holiday is the first time I watched this movie, I thought it would pass my list of good movies, but it didn't ! It has drama yet they wrap it in such a comical way that it is enjoyable ! I cried (laughing) when I watched this movie. Especially that scene when it's Kenny's (is that his name ?) turn to play the guess game :-) Oops, explicit material here. Better watch the movie alone, no parents allowed !
P.S : sorry for the blurry image. I don't know why it is so hard to find a good one !
That's it ! wait what ? that's it ? only 4 ?
sadly yes, I guess I am pretty picky but it is what it is. Or maybe I just haven't rent that many movies yet... I don't know. But if you really want the fifth one, you can try and watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It's pretty good but it didn't make it to the list :p by the way this list contains movies from the drama-comedy genre only. Or as I would like to call it chick-flicks. If you love any other genre, Jinni and IMDB is a great place to look for recommendation !
I also downloaded this cool app called Discvr Movies. It basically do the same thing as Jinni and IMDB, but they have a cool user interface and it's on my cellphone ! So one point for easy access. I'm sure IMDB also have an app but Discvr Movies is worth the try. The only bad thing is that the developers haven't updated it yet for quite a while, so they don't have that great database of movies. But it still have thousands of old ones !
Besides movies, I am also addicted to youtube videos lately. Well, I've been addicted to youtube since a long time ago, but I've recently checked out those famous youtubers' channel and it is quite entertaining. You should check them out too. My favorites are AwesomeAlanna, Pointlessblog, and Marcus Butler.
Great Kelvin where have you been they've been there for ages and you have just found them "quite entertaining" ?
Anyways I hope you enjoy your holiday ! Where did you spend it ?
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Sudden Urge
Hi ! it's 4.30 a.m in the so called morning on the first day of July ! Happy Ramadhan to all moslems around the world and to people who celebrates it. I've just had my sahur and to be honest it was....quite ordinary. I don't know, I don't think I have those Ramadhan vibes this year; or even the year before. I think everyone just got too busy with their own life that they forgot how to celebrate the merry of being together. I mean...somehow, that's what Ramadhan is all about right ? I've never want fasting and the breakfasting itself to be some kind of a routine. You know, just because we have to do it every year.
Oh ! Today is the 10th day of my school's holiday. And to be honest I haven't done much yet. I always complain about how I don't have all the time in the world to do stuff I like and stuff that I don't like but I have to do (haha), but now that I have it, I don't really know what to do. I basically just spend most of the days watching chick-flicks all day long (thank god movie rentals !) I did spend a day with my friends in Goa Cina, but it's nothing special since I've been there before. The only difference is the people I came with...but I guess it's better than nothing at all. I took some pictures and I love it, would you check it out and see if you like it too ? click click !
I usually talk about life lessons in my blog, but lately I haven't got any. Is it because my lack of social interactions ? God only knows. But I do have this thought that people are somehow afraid of confessing or confronting their feelings most of the times because they are afraid of what the outcome might be. Now you can say that this is the sophisticated way of our brains and our body to protect us from being hurt psychologically -since research says that we react to psychological pain the same way we react to physical pain- but I think keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself also...hurts, in many other ways.
Lately I have had this kind of situation where I've got so much to say, yet I decided to shut myself up. You know what they said, words you'll regret the most is the one you didn't speak. But what if -what if- you tell people about how you feel, or what you want to say, yet they did nothing about it. Hahaha, that hurts too, believe me.
I used the word hurt and pain a lot in most of my writing that even I think I should've overcome it somehow. That I should've got used to it by now. But it isn't the case. "You see, the thing about pain, it demands to be felt" and yes, I am quoting you, Mr John Green sir.
If you have all of that figured out, will you help me ?
Kelvin, signing off.
Oh ! Today is the 10th day of my school's holiday. And to be honest I haven't done much yet. I always complain about how I don't have all the time in the world to do stuff I like and stuff that I don't like but I have to do (haha), but now that I have it, I don't really know what to do. I basically just spend most of the days watching chick-flicks all day long (thank god movie rentals !) I did spend a day with my friends in Goa Cina, but it's nothing special since I've been there before. The only difference is the people I came with...but I guess it's better than nothing at all. I took some pictures and I love it, would you check it out and see if you like it too ? click click !
I usually talk about life lessons in my blog, but lately I haven't got any. Is it because my lack of social interactions ? God only knows. But I do have this thought that people are somehow afraid of confessing or confronting their feelings most of the times because they are afraid of what the outcome might be. Now you can say that this is the sophisticated way of our brains and our body to protect us from being hurt psychologically -since research says that we react to psychological pain the same way we react to physical pain- but I think keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself also...hurts, in many other ways.
Lately I have had this kind of situation where I've got so much to say, yet I decided to shut myself up. You know what they said, words you'll regret the most is the one you didn't speak. But what if -what if- you tell people about how you feel, or what you want to say, yet they did nothing about it. Hahaha, that hurts too, believe me.
I used the word hurt and pain a lot in most of my writing that even I think I should've overcome it somehow. That I should've got used to it by now. But it isn't the case. "You see, the thing about pain, it demands to be felt" and yes, I am quoting you, Mr John Green sir.
If you have all of that figured out, will you help me ?
Kelvin, signing off.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
I Just Want to Write
I can't believe tomorrow is the finals. That means I've spent a year being a senior high school student. A year felt very fast for me, but who knows what opportunity might come next year, right ? I will obviously have more responsibility since all extracurricular activities are maintained and supervised by the 11th grade. Can't wait to see what will happen !
Oh ! have I told you that I have this portfolio blog thingy where I post all of my work ? I will really love it if you do a visit ! (click click) It only consists of 3 works by now but I'll update it constantly. And if you do a visit, please leave some (constructive) comments !
I guess I'm running out of stuff I want to write right now.
So.....
Here's the boob hitting scene from New Girl which always successfully make me laugh.
P.S : don't watch it with your kids or your parents.
Oh ! have I told you that I have this portfolio blog thingy where I post all of my work ? I will really love it if you do a visit ! (click click) It only consists of 3 works by now but I'll update it constantly. And if you do a visit, please leave some (constructive) comments !
I guess I'm running out of stuff I want to write right now.
So.....
Here's the boob hitting scene from New Girl which always successfully make me laugh.
P.S : don't watch it with your kids or your parents.
Monday, April 14, 2014
5 Years From Now
HI ! sorry I haven't blogged a while. I'm always overwhelmed with tasks and assignments from my professor. Well,I guess you can't be a lazy person if you're studying in one of the best art school in the world,right ? I am currently at my sophomore year in Parsons The New School for Design. I haven't blogged for a while...so I guess I'll just tell you how it goes. You all know that I have this crazy sort of naïve dream of going to Parsons right ? so since then I've decided to use all of my time during high school to pursue that dream. And it's not only about my happiness,but I also want to show people that I do deserve what I want. Alhamdulillah...like JKT48 said, hard work never traits hehehe. It was probably the busiest 3 years of my life yet, I mean...with no support from my family, I basically have to do everything on my own. And as if it can't get worse,I can't even draw. So that adds up my to-do list before going here. during that time,I haven't actually thought about what's next after I'm admitted. I guess for me the important thing is just being accepted and..I don't know,hopefully my parents will understand what I want to do with my life ?
Besides Parsons,I am also admitted at RISD. But I fell in love with Parsons a long time ago,so I choose it instead. during my first year,I learned a lot. Like,a lot. I don't even know how my brain can process so much information like that. But yeah..I did. I do have to make a huge adjustment. And as you know,being someone who is not that good at adapting,I have a hard time adjusting myself with the new social and academic state. But...I passed it,and I guess for me that's the hardest part. So..I've been enjoying my life so far ! New York is a fast-paced city. Everyone is always busy and productive. I mean...who wouldn't ? you're in a big city ! I guess I'll be damned if I ever spend more than 3 days of being lazy in New York. I just love it,everything here. The shops,the streets,the nightlife...even The New School itself. People said that you have to constantly make connections in New York (thank god emails !)just to make your life a little bit easier. I mean,who knows what someone you meet in this random restaurant can do for you ?
I learned a lot just by living in the city. I learned that there are actually nice people,even strangers who act nicely to you. People said that New York is mean,but I think aggressive is the right term. Sure,there are people who actually swears when I accidentally bumped in to them when I was walking down the streets,but there are also people who helped me picking up all of my drawings during windy days. I guess it's just a matter of perspective....
The New School University Center is great ! I actually met those people who gave me advice and reviewed my portfolio. Mr.Rocco,kak Anna and kak Sheena and all. We don't always hang out together since they're all currently in their senior years (which is super busy,believe me) but we always meet up somewhere every now and then. I must admit that I'm not the popular guy in the university,but I made some friends. Parsons chained most of their students during weekends,let alone weeknights. So I don't have that much time to go out partying and stuff. But living here for almost two year I have developed this skill of a better time management. And I can *cough* professionally *cough* choose which assignments to skip and to do (hehehe).
I do feel a little bit lonely sometimes,but I keep reminding myself of how lucky I am to even be here. I can't imagine the day when I have to leave New York,but every hello ends with a good bye,right ?
I can't wait to tell more about my adventure in the concrete jungle !
Kelvin here,signing off.
_________________________________________________________________________________
it was a great imagination,wasn't it ?
Besides Parsons,I am also admitted at RISD. But I fell in love with Parsons a long time ago,so I choose it instead. during my first year,I learned a lot. Like,a lot. I don't even know how my brain can process so much information like that. But yeah..I did. I do have to make a huge adjustment. And as you know,being someone who is not that good at adapting,I have a hard time adjusting myself with the new social and academic state. But...I passed it,and I guess for me that's the hardest part. So..I've been enjoying my life so far ! New York is a fast-paced city. Everyone is always busy and productive. I mean...who wouldn't ? you're in a big city ! I guess I'll be damned if I ever spend more than 3 days of being lazy in New York. I just love it,everything here. The shops,the streets,the nightlife...even The New School itself. People said that you have to constantly make connections in New York (thank god emails !)just to make your life a little bit easier. I mean,who knows what someone you meet in this random restaurant can do for you ?
I learned a lot just by living in the city. I learned that there are actually nice people,even strangers who act nicely to you. People said that New York is mean,but I think aggressive is the right term. Sure,there are people who actually swears when I accidentally bumped in to them when I was walking down the streets,but there are also people who helped me picking up all of my drawings during windy days. I guess it's just a matter of perspective....
The New School University Center is great ! I actually met those people who gave me advice and reviewed my portfolio. Mr.Rocco,kak Anna and kak Sheena and all. We don't always hang out together since they're all currently in their senior years (which is super busy,believe me) but we always meet up somewhere every now and then. I must admit that I'm not the popular guy in the university,but I made some friends. Parsons chained most of their students during weekends,let alone weeknights. So I don't have that much time to go out partying and stuff. But living here for almost two year I have developed this skill of a better time management. And I can *cough* professionally *cough* choose which assignments to skip and to do (hehehe).
I do feel a little bit lonely sometimes,but I keep reminding myself of how lucky I am to even be here. I can't imagine the day when I have to leave New York,but every hello ends with a good bye,right ?
I can't wait to tell more about my adventure in the concrete jungle !
Kelvin here,signing off.
_________________________________________________________________________________
it was a great imagination,wasn't it ?
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Ride This Ride
HELLO WORLD ! I can't believe it has been (over) a month since my last post. This clearly proves that I'm a failure on being consistent -_- oh well. There are sooo much stuff going on in the past months. I've been having this little feeling like "oh oh ! I should blog about this" but I haven't got anytime to actually do it. Okay,this might sound a little bit exaggerating but it is what it is. I thought that I'm started to get used to the busy life of high school student (especially SHS 1) but no,I still have so much to improve,especially on time management. Even when I'm writing this post,I actually have a biology book to read and an art project to continue (I just looovveeee being busy.)
So...going a few post back,I still have this crazy,naïve dream of going to Parsons. I actually have started to contact everyone whom I think can help me throughout the process of getting the admission. From alumni to the staff to the faculty to the current student....Now,you might think that it's a little too early,but I haven't got any formal art education that directly relates to communication design,or even designing itself. (And yes,I'm considering their communication design major and put photography down to the second option.) Plus,you can never be too safe,right ? I also started to learn how to actually draw and paint...I'm still wayyyyyy below average but at least I'm making progress :D finger-crossed....
This past month I am a little bit happier than I used to. I guess I'm starting to actually take lessons from what I've experienced. Trying to be less-sensitive and not to overthink everything. It's not that you're going to suddenly be happy once you stop the overthinking habit,it's just.......I don't know,I kinda developed my own way of accepting things that I can't change. I hope this means that I've 'upgraded' myself to be a better person. I do have a little fear that somehow,I'm turning into this insensitive and kinda ignorant person....
I still have bad grades,I still have social problems,I still have big dreams that I have to work hard for,but I know God never sleeps :)
here's to the big dreamer ! :
So...going a few post back,I still have this crazy,naïve dream of going to Parsons. I actually have started to contact everyone whom I think can help me throughout the process of getting the admission. From alumni to the staff to the faculty to the current student....Now,you might think that it's a little too early,but I haven't got any formal art education that directly relates to communication design,or even designing itself. (And yes,I'm considering their communication design major and put photography down to the second option.) Plus,you can never be too safe,right ? I also started to learn how to actually draw and paint...I'm still wayyyyyy below average but at least I'm making progress :D finger-crossed....
This past month I am a little bit happier than I used to. I guess I'm starting to actually take lessons from what I've experienced. Trying to be less-sensitive and not to overthink everything. It's not that you're going to suddenly be happy once you stop the overthinking habit,it's just.......I don't know,I kinda developed my own way of accepting things that I can't change. I hope this means that I've 'upgraded' myself to be a better person. I do have a little fear that somehow,I'm turning into this insensitive and kinda ignorant person....
I still have bad grades,I still have social problems,I still have big dreams that I have to work hard for,but I know God never sleeps :)
here's to the big dreamer ! :
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Dreams Don't Turn To Dust
Wow.
Just wow.
Have you ever feel that all the dreams,all the good imagination you build for your whole life,and plans the rest of your life to pursue is crushed into the tiniest thing. Like...the atom of the atom tiny. Well if you don't,I've felt it just now.
I am in year 10 of senior high school now,and I guess it's the perfect time to plan for my college. Because in Indonesia,we have to go to college.otherwise we would be a total loser (which is a very not cool stereotype.) and I've been thinking and wondering and wondering about what I want to do with my life. Oh sure,who doesn't want to be a super great doctor who got PhD next to his name. Who doesn't want to be a world class architect who build international conference building,who doesn't want to be a great pop star,singing every night from one country to one country. But frankly,and sadly,I can't. I'm not good at any of my school subject,not that I'm failing,no,it's just that I don't think I could make it.
So then there's come the thinking process,what I want to do...what I want to do...what I want to do...the question keep echoing inside my head. Then I realised that I won't get any answer just by thinking and thinking. I need to observe myself. At what time do I feel like it's the happiest time of the day ? what did I do that time ?
Then I realised,I want to be a photographer,I know I always talked about how fashion fascinates me,but that's just it. It's just fascinates me,it's not something I want to do for my life.well,at least for now. But then there come these thought from people around me,it was something like "really ? a photographer ? what would you get as a photohgrapher ?" or "a photographer ? hahah,what would you feed your family with ?"And I thought that...well,maybe they're right. I need to find another future job.
And I was wrong,they were wrong,photography still excites me every time. And I guess last friday was the day that I feel like "I love this. This is what I should do." Last friday was the day of weekly meeting of KIAS. Just before that,I got a short meeting of the decoration people for Nevasca 2014 (which excites me so much !) I entered the room and sit next to my friends as always,they asked me "Hey,what happened to your face ?" "What is it ?" "You look red hahahah" "Oh that's because I'm bule hahahah"
But no,it's because of the excitement. It's because of the pop of excitement that constantly happened in my mind. My face even turns more red when I explain my idea for the next edition of the magazine,and for the next photo shoot. Even now,I can't wait to do the photo shoot and all the editing and stuff !
I've read about Parsons in a few articles and books,and they said that it is one of the best school to study art. I know that I don't even stand a chance there,but I'd be damned if I gave up without trying. So there I go,I search all over the internet for any information possible,I even use the custom brochure feature on their website and print it. I looked around for tuition fees,reading posts in forums about the university and so on and so on.
But what did happened when I gave the brochure to my parents ? They talked a lot of things about it but the point is............they talk to me as if I was joking about going into Parsons. They kinda talk in a way that say "you got no future with photography." My mom even said that "Really ? This is what you "love",eh ?" and at that moment I was crushed,it looked like I was exaggerating but I wasn't. Having your parents laughing at your dream was.....how to describe it;an excruciating pain.
They told me to go to law school instead,study something that really makes money. International business,international law,international economics. But those thing didn't fascinate me. They bore me to death,I took them at school because I thought it looked compromising. I know this sounds cheesy,and maybe even hypocrite,but I'd rather live on a budget from doing what I love,then stressed and depressed doing stuff I don't even like to get a luxurious lifestyle.
Gahhh I want to get into Parsons so bad,just so I can pursue my dream,just so I can prove them wrong. The stakes are high here,and I don't even know what I'm going to do next. Would you guys help me ?
Kelvin here,signing off.
Just wow.
Have you ever feel that all the dreams,all the good imagination you build for your whole life,and plans the rest of your life to pursue is crushed into the tiniest thing. Like...the atom of the atom tiny. Well if you don't,I've felt it just now.
I am in year 10 of senior high school now,and I guess it's the perfect time to plan for my college. Because in Indonesia,we have to go to college.otherwise we would be a total loser (which is a very not cool stereotype.) and I've been thinking and wondering and wondering about what I want to do with my life. Oh sure,who doesn't want to be a super great doctor who got PhD next to his name. Who doesn't want to be a world class architect who build international conference building,who doesn't want to be a great pop star,singing every night from one country to one country. But frankly,and sadly,I can't. I'm not good at any of my school subject,not that I'm failing,no,it's just that I don't think I could make it.
So then there's come the thinking process,what I want to do...what I want to do...what I want to do...the question keep echoing inside my head. Then I realised that I won't get any answer just by thinking and thinking. I need to observe myself. At what time do I feel like it's the happiest time of the day ? what did I do that time ?
Then I realised,I want to be a photographer,I know I always talked about how fashion fascinates me,but that's just it. It's just fascinates me,it's not something I want to do for my life.well,at least for now. But then there come these thought from people around me,it was something like "really ? a photographer ? what would you get as a photohgrapher ?" or "a photographer ? hahah,what would you feed your family with ?"And I thought that...well,maybe they're right. I need to find another future job.
And I was wrong,they were wrong,photography still excites me every time. And I guess last friday was the day that I feel like "I love this. This is what I should do." Last friday was the day of weekly meeting of KIAS. Just before that,I got a short meeting of the decoration people for Nevasca 2014 (which excites me so much !) I entered the room and sit next to my friends as always,they asked me "Hey,what happened to your face ?" "What is it ?" "You look red hahahah" "Oh that's because I'm bule hahahah"
But no,it's because of the excitement. It's because of the pop of excitement that constantly happened in my mind. My face even turns more red when I explain my idea for the next edition of the magazine,and for the next photo shoot. Even now,I can't wait to do the photo shoot and all the editing and stuff !
I've read about Parsons in a few articles and books,and they said that it is one of the best school to study art. I know that I don't even stand a chance there,but I'd be damned if I gave up without trying. So there I go,I search all over the internet for any information possible,I even use the custom brochure feature on their website and print it. I looked around for tuition fees,reading posts in forums about the university and so on and so on.
But what did happened when I gave the brochure to my parents ? They talked a lot of things about it but the point is............they talk to me as if I was joking about going into Parsons. They kinda talk in a way that say "you got no future with photography." My mom even said that "Really ? This is what you "love",eh ?" and at that moment I was crushed,it looked like I was exaggerating but I wasn't. Having your parents laughing at your dream was.....how to describe it;an excruciating pain.
They told me to go to law school instead,study something that really makes money. International business,international law,international economics. But those thing didn't fascinate me. They bore me to death,I took them at school because I thought it looked compromising. I know this sounds cheesy,and maybe even hypocrite,but I'd rather live on a budget from doing what I love,then stressed and depressed doing stuff I don't even like to get a luxurious lifestyle.
Gahhh I want to get into Parsons so bad,just so I can pursue my dream,just so I can prove them wrong. The stakes are high here,and I don't even know what I'm going to do next. Would you guys help me ?
Kelvin here,signing off.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Bored
it's 2014 people ! I can't believe that I only wrote 5 post on December....it's pretty embarrassing to say that I admit myself as a blogger,yet I only wrote 5 posts per month :( oh well. I've been enjoying this 2 weeks long holiday by staying at home. Usually,I would complain to my parents or my sister like "WHY CAN'T WE GO TO SOMEWHERE NICE LIKE NORMAL FAMILY WOULD DO" but for now...I don't know. I think,all this hectic life of senior high school makes me wanna just stay at home and enjoying myself (this is getting ambiguous,you know what I mean.) I've been reading some amazingly good books I've never had a chance to read before. Like the Teen Vogue Handbook,it's soooooo recommended for people like me,and for people who seek career in the fashion industry. It does give us some good advice on how to get a path to a career in fashion,but it also gave us new perspective;that even though fashion sounds fun,it's not always about fun and games. It is full of hard work and determination. All those people,all those legends you've seen on the magazine actually work their way to where they are standing right now. It makes me rethink about what I want to do with my life...sigh.
But here's the good news : last night,my sister asked me if I wanted to be an intern with her friend who is a photographer !!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm psyched ! finally ! someone to teach me real photography ! I really can't wait for this intern ! I'll tell you more when it starts :)
So I guess that's pretty much my holiday. Sitting around,reading books,sleeping and eating and stuff. I spent my new year's eve at my best friend's house with my girlfriend. It was,surprisingly,an amazing night. We didn't do much except playing board games,but I guess the feeling of surrounded by friends and families is what makes it special.
But here's the good news : last night,my sister asked me if I wanted to be an intern with her friend who is a photographer !!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm psyched ! finally ! someone to teach me real photography ! I really can't wait for this intern ! I'll tell you more when it starts :)
So I guess that's pretty much my holiday. Sitting around,reading books,sleeping and eating and stuff. I spent my new year's eve at my best friend's house with my girlfriend. It was,surprisingly,an amazing night. We didn't do much except playing board games,but I guess the feeling of surrounded by friends and families is what makes it special.
Monday, December 9, 2013
KIAS Training 2013
Hi Bloggies ! so just yesterday I had a pretty amazing day with my friends from KIAS.Well,it's basically an organization for all journalist,photographer and editor in my school. And yes,we run the school magazine ! This post is going to be one of those post with sooooooo many pictures in it.It's all by me though. SO I do hope you enjoyed it,comments and constructive critics are very welcomed !
This training took place at a tea garden in Wonosari.They said that this tea garden is the one garden that provide tea supplies to all cities in East Java ! The place is nice,it's good to just spend time away from the crowds of the city.But don't get your hopes too high,you won't find anything fancy here.But for me,that's the thing that made the tea garden relieving.
We arrived at about 9.00 a.m and we started the activity right away. We set some place to gather and sit,and then the lecturers gave us some tips and tricks about how to be a better photographer,journalist and editor.I Think it would be something very useful for the future,you know,since we have to run the school magazine.
So after the all the lectures,comes the fun part.We were divided into some groups,we took a ride with the so called "Kereta Kelinci" around the tea garden. We stopped at a particular area of the garden where some of the seniors had been waiting for us. They'll give us some challenge (which is writing two articles about a particular subject;mine is HIV/AIDS) and then we move on to the next post,and the next one,and the next one.I think it's kinda cool where they packed a training into fun and games like this. I think this is how a training/coaching should be. Not the I'll-make-your-life-more-miserable kind of coaching.*cough cough* *being cyinical* *no offense*
Here's a picture of me with my team mates !
We arrived at about 9.00 a.m and we started the activity right away. We set some place to gather and sit,and then the lecturers gave us some tips and tricks about how to be a better photographer,journalist and editor.I Think it would be something very useful for the future,you know,since we have to run the school magazine.
So after the all the lectures,comes the fun part.We were divided into some groups,we took a ride with the so called "Kereta Kelinci" around the tea garden. We stopped at a particular area of the garden where some of the seniors had been waiting for us. They'll give us some challenge (which is writing two articles about a particular subject;mine is HIV/AIDS) and then we move on to the next post,and the next one,and the next one.I think it's kinda cool where they packed a training into fun and games like this. I think this is how a training/coaching should be. Not the I'll-make-your-life-more-miserable kind of coaching.*cough cough* *being cyinical* *no offense*
 |
| strike a pose. |
After we go through all of the posts,we played some games (again) and head to the mosque to clean ourselves and pray. After that,we eat our lunch and.......make a wall magazine ! yes,it was the last part of the training. The seniors gave us a styrofoam,some decorative papers,some materials and some tools to make it in three hours. We did our best,but I don't think we could win because all of them were so great ! It's fine though,because we had a lot of fun doing it !
It was a good experience. And now,I am officially a member of KIAS. I do hope that with the help of my friends,I could make KIAS better and better throughout the year. Bismillah....
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Gratitude
Hola bloggies,it's december 7th and that means just a week away from my birthday.I still can't believe this is my second birthday here at my blog. I just want to say thank you,mostly to Allah and my family for always be there for me.And also for music,for Taylor Swift and for Ke$ha,and to those people whose songs I listened to in rainy days.I also want to thank my friends. I don't have many but I guess that's better than no friends at all,or even a thousand backstabber.
I also want to happily say that I got a new computer for my (early) birthday present ! thank youuuuu mom & dad :) But this time of year,first of all instead of asking for presents I want to look back and see what kind of person I am this past year. Is it good ? is it bad ? what kind of behavior should I change ? do I have any bad habits ? have I reached my goal yet?
Sadly I have to say that I have a lot to change in my personality,I haven't do anything special nor productive this past year,I also haven't reach my goal (being skinny is on of them). I honestly have nothing to do but to dramatically wipe off my tears and set a new goal and also make myself promise to always work hard in the future.Bismillah....
Anyways ! this post is also to thank my friend,Farah.For always supporting me when I'm down,and for always be happy with me when I'm on top. Thank you thank you thank you and please don't ever change :)
I also want to happily say that I got a new computer for my (early) birthday present ! thank youuuuu mom & dad :) But this time of year,first of all instead of asking for presents I want to look back and see what kind of person I am this past year. Is it good ? is it bad ? what kind of behavior should I change ? do I have any bad habits ? have I reached my goal yet?
Sadly I have to say that I have a lot to change in my personality,I haven't do anything special nor productive this past year,I also haven't reach my goal (being skinny is on of them). I honestly have nothing to do but to dramatically wipe off my tears and set a new goal and also make myself promise to always work hard in the future.Bismillah....
Anyways ! this post is also to thank my friend,Farah.For always supporting me when I'm down,and for always be happy with me when I'm on top. Thank you thank you thank you and please don't ever change :)
Monday, December 2, 2013
Birthday Wishlist !
It's December ! that means....my birthday ! it's my second birthday here at my blog and I think I done quite well on the "constantly writing" part since I usually have this blog,write for like a week and then abandoning the blog,and the cycle goes on and on and on...till now ! I must say that I'm a little bit proud of myself :)
So here it is my wish list for my birthday,it's never too early for a wish list !I know I won't get all of these stuff for my birthday but..it's my wishlist ! I can surely put anything I want,right ?
P.S : I do hope my parents accidentally visit my blog and see this post.
So here it is my wish list for my birthday,it's never too early for a wish list !I know I won't get all of these stuff for my birthday but..it's my wishlist ! I can surely put anything I want,right ?
P.S : I do hope my parents accidentally visit my blog and see this post.
from top left to the right : a complete series of the sims 3,iMac,torres bag,gibson hummingbird guitar,mon monogram wallet,harman kardon speakers,chanel no.5 parfum
so...yeah.
Sambat
Hi blog readers ! Some of you might've wonder,what does 'sambat' means ? or 'is that even a word ?' while the fact is,it is a word.well,in javanese at least. Sambat is an activity where you keep moaning about how miserable your life is,or how you didn't get something you've always wanted.So...what ? what's so special about 'sambat' that I use it as a title ?
well,funny (but actually inspiring) story happened today.This week is my exam week so we got our classes mixed up with the sophomores.As you can see,this can be a little bit frightening since I was always a anti-social person,a freak who always freaked out whenever I have to meet someone new,and to be honest,it is true.I mean,I think about it a lot the day before the exam week starts,about how should I act and react when I meet new people,about how to deal with seniors,and stuff like that. But Alhamdulillah,things work out great...at least for now.So back to the story,a few minutes before the exam starts,my teacher hand out the exam and the answer sheets.The senior started to...shout,to put it easily.They said "Pak soalnya kurang !" "Pak belom dapet soal !" "Paakkk soal saya manaaa" and then there's this one girl,I don't know if she was a senior or not,said "Sambat ae rek,rek." and then there's this BOOM again inside my head...
why ? ever since I overheard that sentence,I keep thinking about myself.Ya Allah...I've been so ungrateful lately,I always "sambat" about how things didn't work out the way I want it to be.I always "sambat" about my failure in doing stuff,rather than keep trying and trying and praying.
So I do hope that this experience today made me a better me.Aamin...
well,funny (but actually inspiring) story happened today.This week is my exam week so we got our classes mixed up with the sophomores.As you can see,this can be a little bit frightening since I was always a anti-social person,a freak who always freaked out whenever I have to meet someone new,and to be honest,it is true.I mean,I think about it a lot the day before the exam week starts,about how should I act and react when I meet new people,about how to deal with seniors,and stuff like that. But Alhamdulillah,things work out great...at least for now.So back to the story,a few minutes before the exam starts,my teacher hand out the exam and the answer sheets.The senior started to...shout,to put it easily.They said "Pak soalnya kurang !" "Pak belom dapet soal !" "Paakkk soal saya manaaa" and then there's this one girl,I don't know if she was a senior or not,said "Sambat ae rek,rek." and then there's this BOOM again inside my head...
why ? ever since I overheard that sentence,I keep thinking about myself.Ya Allah...I've been so ungrateful lately,I always "sambat" about how things didn't work out the way I want it to be.I always "sambat" about my failure in doing stuff,rather than keep trying and trying and praying.
So I do hope that this experience today made me a better me.Aamin...
Friday, November 8, 2013
Some Things Just Don't Make Sense
"I walked with my head down,trying to block you out cause I'll never impress you"
I really have no idea how could things go wrong. I mean..I've done everything just in the way I used to do it. Is that not enough ? Is this the time that I have to step up my game ? What level am I supposed to reachhhhhhhhh
I know this might sounds a little bit alay and overrated. But...I just can't hold it any longer. When will this pile of mess called "my life" be back in order ? People keep telling me that I'm thinking too much of the little things that doesn't really matter. But the real thing is that,to me,the little things,the little details are what matter the most. I guess you could say that I am a perfectionist. Sadly,I haven't found a good way to chase perfections.
The real reason of why I haven't blogged lately is I don't want to be this person who always thought that their life is the most miserable life ever. Well,besides the fact that since I started high school,I don't have as much time for myself as I used to. But I just can't hold it. (Soap Opera much ?) How can you hold on to something,when you don't have something to hold on to ? Something to keep you feel that life is worth living. I used to have that back in my younger years,friends. (And yes,you can simply conclude that I still don't have friends.)
I have this so-called "friends" who always point out my flaws. She always makes me feel like I'm useless,and everything I do is wrong. I also have this "friend" that always had this "ew" stare to me. YES,AND ONLY TO ME :). I thought they teach you not to pick your friends,but choose your friends wisely at kindegarten or preschool. They both feel like they were the fairest of them all. They both also think that all things they said were never hurtful to anyone. Well thank you so much,your words just made my day.
All I want to say was "why you gotta be so mean and such a pain in the ass ?" I took a pity on someone who had to point out the others' flaws just so they feel powerful. Now after a "deep thinking time",I used to have a way to deal with a certain situation or a certain kind of people. But for this one...no. I haven't been on this kind of situation, or dealing with this kind of people before. Have you ? If so, please kindly tell me how to deal with it.
I just want you people who read this post to know that this post is just a piece of things I wanted to say. There's a lot more feelings that I can't turn into words.
I don't even know how to end this post but...yeah. This is it. I hope those people I mentioned earlier get my message, and then I hope you'll know what to do.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
My Very First Football Experience
Okay,the title looks like something that a five year old kindegarten kid would write. But I am not a five year old kindegarten kid,so I guess that shows how lame I am. But that is the truth !! There's a gym class today,but the boys and I had already finished the exam,so we got some free time. You know how boys+free time at gym class will be. Yes ! Football ! But I guess you also know that I am a huge sucker at football. Well,actually I am a sucker at all sports.I only wanted to watch them play,but then I thought "Hey,why not join the game instead of sitting around for two hours ?
I must admit I really wanted to have the ability to play football,but I've never got any guts to even try playing it.The thing is,I can't even do the basics such as kicking the ball in the right way. But my classmates are soooooo nice ! They insist me to play with them. Well yeah,it's because they're running out of team members,but the fact that they even consider me is sooo nice of them :) so I don't know how,I just ended up in the field. I'm not running around like the other guys,but the feel of standing between them for the first time is just amazing ! I feel a huge adrenaline rush !!!
Okay,that's too dramatic.
They even let me kick the ball for the first time without intervention !!!!!!!!!!!!!
They also said this thing : "hey,I can't play football either,but I still join in the game and you should too." I know it's a big lie because they're all sooooooooo good at football,but the fact that they said it to...I don't know,support me ? To make me feel like I'm not the only one ? It's just so nice of them !
To all of my classmates,thank you thank you thank you !!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Social Circles
so something surprising happened last Friday. I went back to my class after an exciting time in chemistry lab. I asked one of my friend to teach me about chemistry. Well,you know how us,teenagers,we can't really focus on boring stuff such as chemistry,so we had an intermezzo.She said to me "hey,go pray with the other boys !" and I said "nah,I don't like praying here,I'll go home after this lesson." and shockingly,she replied "oh,that's why you don't have many friends,you don't want to mingle with everybody" and BOOM ! it just hits me like a wrecking ball (?) well,no.I believe a wrecking ball doesn't sound "BOOM" but I'm pretty sure you got my point.
It really wakes me up,how she is so honest even in a cruel way.I also found this tweet : "#Sagittarius stop thinking you're alone,you're the one who draw away from people" AND OH MY GOD COULD SOMEONE PLEASE STOP READING MY DIARY BOOK.
oh well,I have an online diary here so I guess there's nothing I can do about it.
back to the topic.That tweet also slaps me in the face.Is that the real fact ? am I the one who is too shy and introvert that I don't let people in ? all this time,I always feel like I am the one who is on the outside.But what if I let people who care about me,waiting on the outside ?
If that so,why do I feel like I've tried so hard to blend in yet it didn't give me the result that I want ? Sure,I have friends in class now.But they're as far as acquaintances,I haven't found someone to share my life with,I haven't found someone to do stupid things together with.Is it too early to say ? I need certainty,when will it happen ? CAN SOMEBODY AT LEAST GIVE ME A CLUE THIS IS FRUSTRATING.
oh,last but not least,I am very very very very and terribly sorry that I can't be a blogger for the fashion weeks this year.I feel like I'm a failed fashion blogger.Well,I hope I can get better next year ! :)
I guess that's all that I wanted to say.if you feel the same way,or experiencing the same situation,please tell me what to do.
I really need professional help.
It really wakes me up,how she is so honest even in a cruel way.I also found this tweet : "#Sagittarius stop thinking you're alone,you're the one who draw away from people" AND OH MY GOD COULD SOMEONE PLEASE STOP READING MY DIARY BOOK.
oh well,I have an online diary here so I guess there's nothing I can do about it.
back to the topic.That tweet also slaps me in the face.Is that the real fact ? am I the one who is too shy and introvert that I don't let people in ? all this time,I always feel like I am the one who is on the outside.But what if I let people who care about me,waiting on the outside ?
If that so,why do I feel like I've tried so hard to blend in yet it didn't give me the result that I want ? Sure,I have friends in class now.But they're as far as acquaintances,I haven't found someone to share my life with,I haven't found someone to do stupid things together with.Is it too early to say ? I need certainty,when will it happen ? CAN SOMEBODY AT LEAST GIVE ME A CLUE THIS IS FRUSTRATING.
oh,last but not least,I am very very very very and terribly sorry that I can't be a blogger for the fashion weeks this year.I feel like I'm a failed fashion blogger.Well,I hope I can get better next year ! :)
I guess that's all that I wanted to say.if you feel the same way,or experiencing the same situation,please tell me what to do.
I really need professional help.
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