Monday, December 9, 2013

Quote of The Day

"What if I'm used to the loneliness ? to being alone ? I think that's what scares me the most."

-My thoughts on a rainy day

KIAS Training 2013

Hi Bloggies ! so just yesterday I had a pretty amazing day with my friends from KIAS.Well,it's basically an organization for all journalist,photographer and editor in my school. And yes,we run the school magazine ! This post is going to be one of those post with sooooooo many pictures in it.It's all by me though. SO I do hope you enjoyed it,comments and constructive critics are very welcomed !


This training took place at a tea garden in Wonosari.They said that this tea garden is the one garden that provide tea supplies to all cities in East Java ! The place is nice,it's good to just spend time away from the crowds of the city.But don't get your hopes too high,you won't find anything fancy here.But for me,that's the thing that made the tea garden relieving.

We arrived at about 9.00 a.m and we started the activity right away. We set some place to gather and sit,and then the lecturers gave us some tips and tricks about how to be a better photographer,journalist and editor.I Think it would be something very useful for the future,you know,since we have to run the school magazine.

So after the all the lectures,comes the fun part.We were divided into some groups,we took a ride with the so called "Kereta Kelinci" around the tea garden. We stopped at a particular area of the garden where some of the seniors had been waiting for us. They'll give us some challenge (which is writing two articles about a particular subject;mine is HIV/AIDS) and then we move on to the next post,and the next one,and the next one.I think it's kinda cool where they packed a training into fun and games like this. I think this is how a training/coaching should be. Not the I'll-make-your-life-more-miserable kind of coaching.*cough cough* *being cyinical* *no offense*




strike a pose.






Here's a picture of me with my team mates !

After we go through all of the posts,we played some games (again) and head to the mosque to clean ourselves and pray. After that,we eat our lunch and.......make a wall magazine ! yes,it was the last part of the training. The seniors gave us a styrofoam,some decorative papers,some materials and some tools to make it in three hours. We did our best,but I don't think we could win because all of them were so great ! It's fine though,because we had a lot of fun doing it !

It was a good experience. And now,I am officially a member of KIAS. I do hope that with the help of my friends,I could make KIAS better and better throughout the year. Bismillah....









Saturday, December 7, 2013

Gratitude

Hola bloggies,it's december 7th and that means just a week away from my birthday.I still can't believe this is my second birthday here at my blog. I just want to say thank you,mostly to Allah and my family for always be there for me.And also for music,for Taylor Swift and for Ke$ha,and to those people whose songs I listened to in rainy days.I also want to thank my friends. I don't have many but I guess that's better than no friends at all,or even a thousand backstabber.

I also want to happily say that I got a new computer for my (early) birthday present ! thank youuuuu mom & dad :) But this time of year,first of all instead of asking for presents I want to look back and see what kind of person I am this past year. Is it good ? is it bad ? what kind of behavior should I change ? do I have any bad habits ? have I reached my goal yet?

Sadly I have to say that I have a lot to change in my personality,I haven't do anything special nor productive this past year,I also haven't reach my goal (being skinny is on of them). I honestly have nothing to do but to dramatically wipe off my tears and set a new goal and also make myself promise to always work hard in the future.Bismillah....

Anyways ! this post is also to thank my friend,Farah.For always supporting me when I'm down,and for always be happy with me when I'm on top. Thank you thank you thank you and please don't ever change :)

Monday, December 2, 2013

Birthday Wishlist !

It's December ! that means....my birthday ! it's my second birthday here at my blog and I think I done quite well on the "constantly writing" part since I usually have this blog,write for like a week and then abandoning the blog,and the cycle goes on and on and on...till now ! I must say that I'm a little bit proud of myself :)

So here it is my wish list for my birthday,it's never too early for a wish list !I know I won't get all of these stuff for my birthday but..it's my wishlist ! I can surely put anything I want,right ?

P.S : I do hope my parents accidentally visit my blog and see this post.


from top left to the right : a complete series of the sims 3,iMac,torres bag,gibson hummingbird guitar,mon monogram wallet,harman kardon speakers,chanel no.5 parfum

so...yeah. 

Sambat

Hi blog readers ! Some of you might've wonder,what does 'sambat' means ? or 'is that even a word ?' while the fact is,it is a word.well,in javanese at least. Sambat is an activity where you keep moaning about how miserable your life is,or how you didn't get something you've always wanted.So...what ? what's so special about 'sambat' that I use it as a title ?

well,funny (but actually inspiring) story happened today.This week is my exam week so we got our classes mixed up with the sophomores.As you can see,this can be a little bit frightening since I was always a anti-social person,a freak who always freaked out whenever I have to meet someone new,and to be honest,it is true.I mean,I think about it a lot the day before the exam week starts,about how should I act and react when I meet new people,about how to deal with seniors,and stuff like that. But Alhamdulillah,things work out great...at least for now.So back to the story,a few minutes before the exam starts,my teacher hand out the exam and the answer sheets.The senior started to...shout,to put it easily.They said "Pak soalnya kurang !" "Pak belom dapet soal !" "Paakkk soal saya manaaa" and then there's this one girl,I don't know if she was a senior or not,said "Sambat ae rek,rek." and then there's this BOOM again inside my head...

why ? ever since I overheard that sentence,I keep thinking about myself.Ya Allah...I've been so ungrateful lately,I always "sambat" about how things didn't work out the way I want it to be.I always "sambat" about my failure in doing stuff,rather than keep trying and trying and praying.

So I do hope that this experience today made me a better me.Aamin...

Friday, November 8, 2013

Some Things Just Don't Make Sense

"I walked with my head down,trying to block you out cause I'll never impress you"

Hi,I haven't blogged for a while. I guess you can call that I am on a hiatus. Although I don't really have an intention to do it. And sadly, my first post after a long time of not-posting-anything on my blog is rather....sad. I would really love to say that everything is alright. Everything is going perfect. But the fact is...no. Things just seems to get worse. My grades..my social life....well, I know that life is not all about good grades and social life. But for me, both as a teenager and as a student it is one of the most important things in my life.

I really have no idea how could things go wrong. I mean..I've done everything just in the way I used to do it. Is that not enough ? Is this the time that I have to step up my game ? What level am I supposed to reachhhhhhhhh

I know this might sounds a little bit alay and overrated. But...I just can't hold it any longer. When will this pile of mess called "my life" be back in order ? People keep telling me that I'm thinking too much of the little things that doesn't really matter. But the real thing is that,to me,the little things,the little details are what matter the most. I guess you could say that I am a perfectionist. Sadly,I haven't found a good way to chase perfections. 

The real reason of why I haven't blogged lately is I don't want to be this person who always thought that their life is the most miserable life ever. Well,besides the fact that since I started high school,I don't have as much time for myself as I used to. But I just can't hold it. (Soap Opera much ?) How can you hold on to something,when you don't have something to hold on to ? Something to keep you feel that life is worth living. I used to have that back in my younger years,friends. (And yes,you can simply conclude that I still don't have friends.)

I have this so-called "friends" who always point out my flaws. She always makes me feel like I'm useless,and everything I do is wrong. I also have this "friend" that always had this "ew" stare to me. YES,AND ONLY TO ME :). I thought they teach you not to pick your friends,but choose your friends wisely at kindegarten or preschool. They both feel like they were the fairest of them all. They both also think that all things they said were never hurtful to anyone. Well thank you so much,your words just made my day. 

All I want to say was "why you gotta be so mean and such a pain in the ass ?" I took a pity on someone who had to point out the others' flaws just so they feel powerful. Now after a "deep thinking time",I used to have a way to deal with a certain situation or a certain kind of people. But for this one...no. I haven't been on this kind of situation, or dealing with this kind of people before. Have you ? If so, please kindly tell me how to deal with it. 

I just want you people who read this post to know that this post is just a piece of things I wanted to say. There's a lot more feelings that I can't turn into words. 

I don't even know how to end this post but...yeah. This is it. I hope those people I mentioned earlier get my message, and then I hope you'll know what to do. 

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

My Very First Football Experience

Okay,the title looks like something that a five year old kindegarten kid would write. But I am not a five year old kindegarten kid,so I guess that shows how lame I am. But that is the truth !! There's a gym class today,but the boys and I had already finished the exam,so we got some free time. You know how boys+free time at gym class will be. Yes ! Football ! But I guess you also know that I am a huge sucker at football. Well,actually I am a sucker at all sports.I only wanted to watch them play,but then I thought "Hey,why not join the game instead of sitting around for two hours ?

I must admit I really wanted to have the ability to play football,but I've never got any guts to even try playing it.The thing is,I can't even do the basics such as kicking the ball in the right way. But my classmates are soooooo nice ! They insist me to play with them. Well yeah,it's because they're running out of team members,but the fact that they even consider me is sooo nice of them :) so I don't know how,I just ended up in the field. I'm not running around like the other guys,but the feel of standing between them for the first time is just amazing ! I feel a huge adrenaline rush !!!
Okay,that's too dramatic.
They even let me kick the ball for the first time without intervention !!!!!!!!!!!!!
They also said this thing : "hey,I can't play football either,but I still join in the game and you should too." I know it's a big lie because they're all sooooooooo good at football,but the fact that they said it to...I don't know,support me ? To make me feel like I'm not the only one ? It's just so nice of them ! 

To all of my classmates,thank you thank you thank you !! 


Sunday, October 13, 2013

Social Circles

so something surprising happened last Friday. I went back to my class after an exciting time in chemistry lab. I asked one of my friend to teach me about chemistry. Well,you know how us,teenagers,we can't really focus on boring stuff such as chemistry,so we had an intermezzo.She said to me "hey,go pray with the other boys !" and I said "nah,I don't like praying here,I'll go home after this lesson." and shockingly,she replied "oh,that's why you don't have many friends,you don't want to mingle with everybody" and BOOM ! it just hits me like a wrecking ball (?) well,no.I believe a wrecking ball doesn't sound "BOOM" but I'm pretty sure you got my point.

It really wakes me up,how she is so honest even in a cruel way.I also found this tweet : "#Sagittarius stop thinking you're alone,you're the one who draw away from people" AND OH MY GOD COULD SOMEONE PLEASE STOP READING MY DIARY BOOK.
oh well,I have an online diary here so I guess there's nothing I can do about it.
back to the topic.That tweet also slaps me in the face.Is that the real fact ? am I the one who is too shy and introvert that I don't let people in ? all this time,I always feel like I am the one who is on the outside.But what if I let people who care about me,waiting on the outside ?

If that so,why do I feel like I've tried so hard to blend in yet it didn't give me the result that I want ? Sure,I have friends in class now.But they're as far as acquaintances,I haven't found someone to share my life with,I haven't found someone to do stupid things together with.Is it too early to say ? I need certainty,when will it happen ? CAN SOMEBODY AT LEAST GIVE ME A CLUE THIS IS FRUSTRATING.

oh,last but not least,I am very very very very and terribly sorry that I can't be a blogger for the fashion weeks this year.I feel like I'm a failed fashion blogger.Well,I hope I can get better next year ! :)

I guess that's all that I wanted to say.if you feel the same way,or experiencing the same situation,please tell me what to do.
I really need professional help.

Quote of The Day

"In order to be irreplaceable,one must always be different."

-Gabrielle Chanel

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Passion

Hi blog readers,I'm very sorry that I leave this blog for so so so long.I know that I've said this a million times,but I just want you to know that what I said is what is really happening right now.Yes,yes,high school takes too much of my time.Even right now,I am in the middle of two home works.This daily routines is what makes me really stressed and depressed and all words you can use to describe "being mad at everyone all the time".I feel like in high school,I no longer have any passion,and the worst part is : in everything.I have no passion in even most stuff I like,I can no longer enjoy my favorites TV shows.Songs used to easily cheer me up in the older days,but now it can't even turn my frown upside down.

I know,I know.I should be grateful with all that I have blablablablabla
I can't even think about such thing as gratitude these days,and this is very scary.I feel like I'm the Simon Cowell who is very hard to please in everybody's life.Even my best friends can't understand me lately.I am losing order in my own life,I am losing control in what I want to do,and what I have to do.I am losing balance in both Ma'at and Isfet.
Okay and now I'm starting to use Egyptian myth to describe my life (how lame can I be ?)

I can no longer enjoy holidays.My mind is always filled with thoughts like "what do I have to do today ?" "do I have any tasks due to tomorrow ?" "this can't be happening,I must've had some homework to do" and stuff like that.And also,holidays are a little bit addicting,so I must be very cautious not to really enjoy the free time.I am,if I must say,a very lazy person.and drowning me into too much free time is basically setting fire to the gasoline.and yes,it is a very weird metaphor indeed.And speaking of English,I got a very very very good score,in a bad way.Which is a polite or complicated way of saying I got bad score.Yes,for the first time ever,I got a bad score in English.Now you can see,and I hope you can feel how frustrated I am,and how frustrating the life in high school really is.

so what do I really want to say in this post ? well,I guess nothing really.This is a way to express on how confused I am with myself and my life.I also feel the need to write something on my blog,and because there's nothing fun,surprising or exciting happened in my world lately,this is all that I've got.And about the outfit posts,I am very sorry that I can't post it right now,or anytime soon.Please do believe that this is NOT something that I want to do,nor something I do on purpose.I really don't have timeeeeeeee


just be me and you'll understand.

Thank you to those who sticking up on this blog,to those who keep waiting for new posts,even though I never know if there is one.Thank you Thank you Thank you !

bonne nuit *drowned in a pile of homework*

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

So,That's What Friends Are For

Hi ! I'm back againnn after a busy busy busy live of a high school student,I can finally find some time to write something on my blog again ! yay ! I'm sorry that I no longer can post stuff daily or weekly as usual,but I really try my best to take care of my blog and to provide useful content for you guys ! I really love writing after all,so I guess I will always find a way to do something that I love even in the most unfortunate time.

Do you still remember about the person whom I told a story about in one of my blog post "Anonymous" ? well,this person finally contacts me again and said that she needs a friend,she also started to tweet me as usual. Well,I couldn't be more happy.But then my bad and dark side told me not to help her because after all that she did to me,she didn't deserve it.

And then there's this one thought that pops inside my head...."hey,that's what friends are for,right ?" I mean,true friends will go to end of the earth till they find the things you need,true friends will be with you till the end.(okay,now I sound a lot like Hannah Montana) I mean,if I ever going through such a situation,I would still need support from my friends,especially the close ones,even though we're no longer meet each other frequently,or talk daily.

Alhamdulillah,Allah gave me new perspective.Seeing problems in different way,I always thought that my friends only come to me when they need me.Well I guess that's true but that doesn't mean I need to be sad about it,in fact,I should be happy about it.I feel like a candle,when their life is bright,they don't need me,but when they come to the dark side,they're looking for me,looking for my help and assistance.

Next week is the mid-semester test ! OMG !!!! time flew so fast,I hope everything is going well,for me and you,my lovely readers !

as if I have one.

oh well.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

New York Fashion Week : Rebecca Minkoff

There's nothing I would really say rather than I really love Rebecca Minkoff ! I heard that she is a new designer,and for a new designer,she's so cool ! I love her antique/girly/vintage style.I even got an eye for her camera bag,but it is soooo pricey :( Her fashion show featuring Janelle Monae is filled with loose top that goes until it reach under your hips,perfect to match with hot pants to set a spring/summer trend !
So here it is ! Rebecca Minkoff for New York Fashion Week 2013

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Anonymous

I guess there are many form of love,you know.It doesn't always have to be like you have to meet this person everyday,or you have to kiss and take this person out for a date everyday.I think the purest form of love is the one we really have,but we can't feel it.Like for example,my mom wake up in the early morning so I can have a decent breakfast,that seems like a simple thing.well that's what every mothers do,right ? But just imagine if my mom doesn't love me,would she sacrifice her sleep time just to make me some breakfast ? Would things feel the same without love ?

So I have this friend who has been there all of my life.like,we go through a lot of things together.let's just give this person name "A" to keep it anonymous,shall we ? so the moment when I thought that we're unseparable;she left without even saying goodbye.by left,i mean leaving my world,out of my life.at first,I thought that it was because we go to different school so we didn't see each other a lot and that things will get better sooner or later.but as the time flies,I didn't see any good sign.A only contacts me if A needs something.and then it get worse,A didn't even try to reach me.I know,I know,you might be wondering why I don't make the first move.The ugly truth is that I already text A a couple times and can you guess what A did ? A didn't text me back or even bother to give any respond.

It was very heartbreaking for me,but I guess A must've had a specific reason why.but then again,i feel like I need to know the reason,is it because of me ? Do I make A feel uncomfortable ? Am I that boring ? Or is it simply just a misunderstanding ? If so,why did A let this miscommunication leads to fall out ? Too many unanswered question that I could summon into one : Am I still one of A's friends ? Believe me,I already tried to ask that to A,and A said yes.But why do I feel like A no longer counts me as a friend ? That A treated me differently.That A makes me feel like I am the one who leave.

I think people are supposed to give their best effort on something they love.if A doesn't even bother to contact me,then does that mean I am not worth the fight ? guess it all comes back to paragraph one,that love could morph into any shape it wanted to be.Maybe A do count me as a friend,A just doesn't have time for me,yet.I guess all I can do is waiting,and waiting and...thinking.

Should I stay,or should I go ?

Saturday, September 7, 2013

New York Fashion Week : Nicholas K


My first review on the New York Fashion Week ! as you can see on the schedule,Nicholas K is the first designer who presented his work for New York Fashion Week.To be honest,I've never heard his name before.So I watched the video,but I don't know what to expect.The first like 2-3 minutes,I think I saw ABBA back there on 70's.I also love the color transition on his show,model's clothes color are gradually changing from black to grey to white and so on and so on.It makes his show feels well prepared.His Spring/Summer collection is filled with unique designs,and bat wings ! a simple color palette is dominating the collection.I love his camo-inspired color palette,feel so summer-y.And I also love his work for womenswear,it also feel so summery.Sadly,I can't post any of my favorite looks because it is a video,and I don't really have time to do a lot of editing.I haven't see any other designers video so I can't decide if this would be the next trend or not.Even though I don't think Nicholas K have anything special on his designs,I still would love some piece from this collection ! Love Love Love the jackets and the sweatshirts.The gold ankle boots would also be great for some instant bling.so here is Nicholas K for New York Fashion Week SS14


New York Fashion Week !

New York Fashion Week is here ! Yayyy !! I'm very sorry that I can't accompany you throughout the week because of the busy live of a high school student.It's supposed to be the second day of the fashion week,so here it is the official schedule from Mercedes-Benz website.

September 05

September 06

September 07

September 08

September 09

September 10

September 11

September 12

  • 10AM
    RALPH LAUREN at 560 WASHINGTON STREET
  • 11AM
    RALPH LAUREN at TBA
  • 2PM
    CALVIN KLEIN COLLECTION at 50 VARICK STREET

    Haven't got time to do more google search about the fashion week,but I think you can stream it live from the website here : http://newyork.mbfashionweek.com/live

    Enjoy ! And tell me what you think :D