Passion

Hi blog readers,I'm very sorry that I leave this blog for so so so long.I know that I've said this a million times,but I just want you to know that what I said is what is really happening right now.Yes,yes,high school takes too much of my time.Even right now,I am in the middle of two home works.This daily routines is what makes me really stressed and depressed and all words you can use to describe "being mad at everyone all the time".I feel like in high school,I no longer have any passion,and the worst part is : in everything.I have no passion in even most stuff I like,I can no longer enjoy my favorites TV shows.Songs used to easily cheer me up in the older days,but now it can't even turn my frown upside down.

I know,I know.I should be grateful with all that I have blablablablabla
I can't even think about such thing as gratitude these days,and this is very scary.I feel like I'm the Simon Cowell who is very hard to please in everybody's life.Even my best friends can't understand me lately.I am losing order in my own life,I am losing control in what I want to do,and what I have to do.I am losing balance in both Ma'at and Isfet.
Okay and now I'm starting to use Egyptian myth to describe my life (how lame can I be ?)

I can no longer enjoy holidays.My mind is always filled with thoughts like "what do I have to do today ?" "do I have any tasks due to tomorrow ?" "this can't be happening,I must've had some homework to do" and stuff like that.And also,holidays are a little bit addicting,so I must be very cautious not to really enjoy the free time.I am,if I must say,a very lazy person.and drowning me into too much free time is basically setting fire to the gasoline.and yes,it is a very weird metaphor indeed.And speaking of English,I got a very very very good score,in a bad way.Which is a polite or complicated way of saying I got bad score.Yes,for the first time ever,I got a bad score in English.Now you can see,and I hope you can feel how frustrated I am,and how frustrating the life in high school really is.

so what do I really want to say in this post ? well,I guess nothing really.This is a way to express on how confused I am with myself and my life.I also feel the need to write something on my blog,and because there's nothing fun,surprising or exciting happened in my world lately,this is all that I've got.And about the outfit posts,I am very sorry that I can't post it right now,or anytime soon.Please do believe that this is NOT something that I want to do,nor something I do on purpose.I really don't have timeeeeeeee


just be me and you'll understand.

Thank you to those who sticking up on this blog,to those who keep waiting for new posts,even though I never know if there is one.Thank you Thank you Thank you !

bonne nuit *drowned in a pile of homework*