Ignorance Is Your New Best Friend

Let's admit it,everyone hates being ignored.even psychologist said that being ignored stimulates the brain to give a feels-like-physically-harmed reaction.Funny,how people easily said "nononooooo I won't forget you I love you muach" but then the next day he forget about us.Another funny thing I observe lately is that people take "don't forget" as remembering the good old days while actually,we hope that the person still keeps us in their life.they still connect with us,not only keeping us as a memory.It is sucks and almost hurtful to be on the outside looking in,looking at people creating connection while you lost it.I think we all deserve that kind of attention and love,don't we ?

but stating the fact,everyone feels like they are being ignored while the real thing is they're not.I got this conclusion because a lot people told me that they feel ignored while for me,they aren't.so that's why I hate my sensitive side of me.I always try to avoid people who is too sensitive because I am ruthlessly blunt (even though I am trying to fix that part right now) without me realizing that I am also a sensitive person.I wish I could be more careless.

Another funny yet hurtful things happened,a friend that I feel like I'm not as close as I should be actually wanted to talk to me...and I do feel very happy.I do feel like this person finally see me,and so we have a chit chat.I feel that after what I've been trough and after what I've done,it's finally making progress;it's finally showing the result.but horror to me,she also talked about the same thing to other people.......and my heart was broken into pieces.Dramatic,yes;but that is the exact word of how I feel.I feel like "after all this time,I am still in the same place." and silly me,I still try to look on the positive side,this person finally considers me as someone to talk to...I guess I just have to be happy with that.

And so what happened with the person who I thought would be around forever ? who I thought would accept me for whoever I am ? They also let me down,they started to ignore me,and come to me only when they need something.I mean...how hard it is to just say hello...and just asking how are you,what are doing lately and all those chit chat thingy.I personally choose that person over someone who just talk what they wanted to talk about and that's it...it makes me feel like I am needed,like someone finally cares about me.I have a few but...they're gone now.I don't know why,or how.or if they're just too busy or they really hate me or what but one thing I know is that they are not the same person anymore....at least for now.and I do hope things are going to change soon...

lately I also feel like I've been a big disappointment to everyone around me.I feel like I always fail to take care of those people that I love.I really wanted to help,but at the end...things always gone messy.I'm sorry,okay ? I know it's corny and I know that sorry isn't enough but that's the best I could.I really don't know what else to say,or do.I also seriously suspect that all this mess was caused by a curse given to me when I broke a mirror at 5th grade.if so,then this is my 4th year of 7 years of bad luck.I guess I also have to just to be happy with that....

I don't know if this was just a bad week,or it is really because of the 7 years curse of bad luck.but whatever it is...it doesn't affect my dream to go to State Senior High School 1 ! I actually got accepted today,even though I'm not the highest rank and everything but I am THIS  happy :-))) thank you God for all the blessing you've been giving me.and to be honest,I've never been that cool kids who got a perfect score on their every test...I actually don't like studying that much.I only study when I want to study and to be honest,my score is not that great so I guess only a miracle can explain all of this.If only God has twitter,I would spam His mention with a lot of thank yous !!!
I guess this is the only happy stuff that happened throughout this week....OH ! I almost forgot,my sister decided to lend me some money to buy my very own Chanel No.5 !!! yay !!!

photos coming soon.