My Very First Football Experience

Okay,the title looks like something that a five year old kindegarten kid would write. But I am not a five year old kindegarten kid,so I guess that shows how lame I am. But that is the truth !! There's a gym class today,but the boys and I had already finished the exam,so we got some free time. You know how boys+free time at gym class will be. Yes ! Football ! But I guess you also know that I am a huge sucker at football. Well,actually I am a sucker at all sports.I only wanted to watch them play,but then I thought "Hey,why not join the game instead of sitting around for two hours ?

I must admit I really wanted to have the ability to play football,but I've never got any guts to even try playing it.The thing is,I can't even do the basics such as kicking the ball in the right way. But my classmates are soooooo nice ! They insist me to play with them. Well yeah,it's because they're running out of team members,but the fact that they even consider me is sooo nice of them :) so I don't know how,I just ended up in the field. I'm not running around like the other guys,but the feel of standing between them for the first time is just amazing ! I feel a huge adrenaline rush !!!

Okay,that's too dramatic.

They even let me kick the ball for the first time without intervention !!!!!!!!!!!!!

They also said this thing : "hey,I can't play football either,but I still join in the game and you should too." I know it's a big lie because they're all sooooooooo good at football,but the fact that they said it to...I don't know,support me ? To make me feel like I'm not the only one ? It's just so nice of them ! 

To all of my classmates,thank you thank you thank you !! 

Social Circles

so something surprising happened last Friday. I went back to my class after an exciting time in chemistry lab. I asked one of my friend to teach me about chemistry. Well,you know how us,teenagers,we can't really focus on boring stuff such as chemistry,so we had an intermezzo.She said to me "hey,go pray with the other boys !" and I said "nah,I don't like praying here,I'll go home after this lesson." and shockingly,she replied "oh,that's why you don't have many friends,you don't want to mingle with everybody" and BOOM ! it just hits me like a wrecking ball (?) well,no.I believe a wrecking ball doesn't sound "BOOM" but I'm pretty sure you got my point.

It really wakes me up,how she is so honest even in a cruel way.I also found this tweet : "#Sagittarius stop thinking you're alone,you're the one who draw away from people" AND OH MY GOD COULD SOMEONE PLEASE STOP READING MY DIARY BOOK.
oh well,I have an online diary here so I guess there's nothing I can do about it.
back to the topic.That tweet also slaps me in the face.Is that the real fact ? am I the one who is too shy and introvert that I don't let people in ? all this time,I always feel like I am the one who is on the outside.But what if I let people who care about me,waiting on the outside ?

If that so,why do I feel like I've tried so hard to blend in yet it didn't give me the result that I want ? Sure,I have friends in class now.But they're as far as acquaintances,I haven't found someone to share my life with,I haven't found someone to do stupid things together with.Is it too early to say ? I need certainty,when will it happen ? CAN SOMEBODY AT LEAST GIVE ME A CLUE THIS IS FRUSTRATING.

oh,last but not least,I am very very very very and terribly sorry that I can't be a blogger for the fashion weeks this year.I feel like I'm a failed fashion blogger.Well,I hope I can get better next year ! :)

I guess that's all that I wanted to say.if you feel the same way,or experiencing the same situation,please tell me what to do.
I really need professional help.

Quote of The Day

"In order to be irreplaceable,one must always be different."

-Gabrielle Chanel

Passion

Hi blog readers,I'm very sorry that I leave this blog for so so so long.I know that I've said this a million times,but I just want you to know that what I said is what is really happening right now.Yes,yes,high school takes too much of my time.Even right now,I am in the middle of two home works.This daily routines is what makes me really stressed and depressed and all words you can use to describe "being mad at everyone all the time".I feel like in high school,I no longer have any passion,and the worst part is : in everything.I have no passion in even most stuff I like,I can no longer enjoy my favorites TV shows.Songs used to easily cheer me up in the older days,but now it can't even turn my frown upside down.

I know,I know.I should be grateful with all that I have blablablablabla
I can't even think about such thing as gratitude these days,and this is very scary.I feel like I'm the Simon Cowell who is very hard to please in everybody's life.Even my best friends can't understand me lately.I am losing order in my own life,I am losing control in what I want to do,and what I have to do.I am losing balance in both Ma'at and Isfet.
Okay and now I'm starting to use Egyptian myth to describe my life (how lame can I be ?)

I can no longer enjoy holidays.My mind is always filled with thoughts like "what do I have to do today ?" "do I have any tasks due to tomorrow ?" "this can't be happening,I must've had some homework to do" and stuff like that.And also,holidays are a little bit addicting,so I must be very cautious not to really enjoy the free time.I am,if I must say,a very lazy person.and drowning me into too much free time is basically setting fire to the gasoline.and yes,it is a very weird metaphor indeed.And speaking of English,I got a very very very good score,in a bad way.Which is a polite or complicated way of saying I got bad score.Yes,for the first time ever,I got a bad score in English.Now you can see,and I hope you can feel how frustrated I am,and how frustrating the life in high school really is.

so what do I really want to say in this post ? well,I guess nothing really.This is a way to express on how confused I am with myself and my life.I also feel the need to write something on my blog,and because there's nothing fun,surprising or exciting happened in my world lately,this is all that I've got.And about the outfit posts,I am very sorry that I can't post it right now,or anytime soon.Please do believe that this is NOT something that I want to do,nor something I do on purpose.I really don't have timeeeeeeee


just be me and you'll understand.

Thank you to those who sticking up on this blog,to those who keep waiting for new posts,even though I never know if there is one.Thank you Thank you Thank you !

bonne nuit *drowned in a pile of homework*